Being miserable feels like i’ve been stuck at the bottom of a dark rabbit hole and the only light i see is looking up. The bright light i’ve spent the last 3 weeks staring at and wondering i’ll ever see its beautiful sight again.

But it has been an amazing past 2 days and something happened that i never thought were even possible. Made possible by only one person that i thought i’d never see again and i am so happy about it.

Im so amazed how much i managed to pull through this dark cloud with so many times i felt like just giving up and shooting a bullet through my head. And all it took was a shitload of faith and not being scared of the devils inside my head that have been causing me hell. I admit i am psychotic at times but i’ve learnt to love the crazy shit that goes on inside my head in order to make peace. I needed a lot of love to pull me out and when i least expected, my life changed in just one night.

And it’s those life changing one night’s that just brings the magic back and you feel alive again. Im so blessed to have those around me or else i don’t think i’ll be alive right now. Ive always fought through my battles alone but there comes a time when you can’t make it alone and the ones that love you most will always be there to fight with you. And that is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. So fuck all those people who disappeared when i needed you the most, atleast i know who really does care about me and who doesn’t give two shits. Thank you to all my very few loved ones, i love you.

Love Kassie

I want this feeling to go away. Its been here too long and im sick of it, fuck off already. Im so sick of this dead feeling inside that constantly makes me want to die. Im not even myself anymore and I dont know when i’ll be back. Every time i find my way back, something else always manages to throw me off the rails in some other direction and i keep struggling to crawl back to home.

Im losing my faith to see the magic in the world slowly. Everything is fading grey and i feel like I’m a walking around with a bullet through my chest. I know this feeling isn’t forever but how long must i be here. Home is where the heart is. I want to go home.